|My sweet girl can really dish out the "looks"|
Last week was hard. Real hard. Potty trained one child and the other was sick. What. a. challenge. I was frustrated every single day, I was exhausted, I was not patient, I was angry with myself because of my lack of patience. It was a spiral of emotions for me.
And that was the problem. ME.
I was saying snarky things to myself, looking at "snarky mommy" meme's...thinking to myself that "This is MY time and these kids are just being crazy! Unreasonable!". HA. The joke was on me, self inflicted. Then something just clicked one day. I gave up. I had finally (figuratively) banged he my head against the wall one too many times. Nothing was going to change except me and my attitude. I was buying into the lie so rampant in our society that we can do everything as mothers and nothing will suffer. Perfectly clean house, clean car, homemade food, time for mani and pedi, time for the kids, time for the husband, make money...impossible.
I prayed for strength and patience. The word that came back to me-and until now I did not quite get it-was HUMILITY.
What could possibly be more humbling than cleaning messes up all day long, standing by the potty while one child threw toys in and the other child argued about having to go potty and then having accidents? I was being taught a lesson.
My lesson is to not think of these days as my own time, because it is not. These days are for my children. The Catholic Catechism states:
2227 Children in turn contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.36 Each and everyone should be generous and tireless in forgiving one another for offenses, quarrels, injustices, and neglect. Mutual affection suggests this. The charity of Christ demands it.37 (2013)
Motherhood is not just my job. It is my vocation, it is my life. So what if I did not complete 24 household chores, crafts or DIY projects? So what I missed those fingerprints on the oven?
My life is not a collection of Pinterest boards. It is my real life. And the gift I need? It is none other than grace. And guess what, the potty training is complete and it is oh so bittersweet. My boy is growing up!! So independent!